Here’s the backstory on why I disappeared, what I’ve been up to and a peek at where we’re going. To all you loyal listeners, thanks for sticking around! And to you newbies, welcome! Hope you find some value here! Or at least some entertainment! =)
I’m finally back to doing my podcasts! YEEEEAH!!! I have some exciting podcasts lined up for you so stay tuned.
Here’s the podcast transcript for those who want it:
Hello, loyal listeners and new listeners. This is Angela L Gibson. I apologize for disappearing without warning some time ago, but I do appreciate your patience! As many of you know this podcast originally started under Spiritual Lucidity in 2010. It has since evolved into Transpersonal Radio. I’m excited to be back and excited about the direction of this dynamic project!
And now an explanation of where I’ve been and what I’ve been up to.
In October 2011 as I was being rushed to a Bahamian hospital by ambulance, I had time to think ruefully that I was going to “go out” as I had wanted. Well… almost. My vision didn’t involve hospitalization at an inland island hospital. I’ve said, and many of you know this, that when it was “my time” the last thing I want to see, hear, and smell is the ocean. Of, course, I can’t think of many places that are more beautiful for that than the Atlantis Resort on Paradise Island in the Bahamas. So there’s that, but that wasn’t exactly what I had in mind.
As I slipped in and out of consciousness I could see the concern on the paramedic’s face. He maintained his professionalism, but the message was clear. We both knew I might be flown back to the states quite differently than I had arrived. But now that the moment was finally here I had a decision to make. You see, I’ve had a few near death experiences (NDEs) over my lifetime. In fact, I even had one in December 2010 and another in January 2011. But my Bahamian NDE was a turning point that trumped them all. There were a few moments that I thought I might just let go. I was tired. No that’s an understatement… I was exhausted. I’m talking about a bone-weary exhaustion that no rest can remedy. And letting go would bring peace. In the end, I decided not yet. I have work to do. But things were going to have to change in a big way.
When I returned stateside, my first course of action was to leave the ranks of the millions of US citizens who are medically uninsured or underinsured. Luckily for me, that happened within days of my return. My ambulance trip in the Bahamas was 27 October 2011. I was officially medically insured 1 November 2011 thanks to Alex Shturman, a client of mine for whom I had been doing web development and internet marketing for the past three years. Now some would call this manifesting. I call it genuine asking and receiving. There is a difference. And I’m going talk about that in some future podcasts, but for now let’s just say that Alex was one of my guardian angels. Not only did Alex get me insured, but he got me connected with some of the top physicians, cardiologists and neurologists in the Sacramento, California area. Divine intervention? You bet it was!
Long story short, in January 2012 I was diagnosed with Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome, otherwise referred to as POTS. That’s a mouthful, I know and some of you are probably going, “What the heck is that?” Well basically, POTS is a form of dysautonomia. And in non-fancy terms, my autonomic nervous system – the nervous system responsible for all the body’s automatic functions that you shouldn’t have to think about like heart rate, breathing, body temperature, digestion, pupil function, and perspiration doesn’t function properly. As an example, my resting heart rate was consistently 100 beats per minute and when I would go from a lying position to a sitting or standing position my heart rate would be up to 180 beats per minute. As you can imagine, this is a very serious situation. In January 2012, working with a team of cardiologists, I was put on a beta-blocker called Metoprolol and started to get my life back. Things were looking up! I hadn’t felt this good in years! And let me tell you that is by no means or any stretch of the imagination, an understatement. Because prior to this I was literally bedbound, I was housebound. I couldn’t do anything. Getting started on the beta-blocker allowed me to start semi-functioning again and start getting back on my feet.
I continued to do pretty well until April 2012, when I once again was on my way to the emergency room. You see in this case, I had been suffering from severe pain in my right temporal lobe radiating into my right eye. And this all started on a Monday evening. I had also noted some dysfunction of my left hand – I couldn’t grip or grasp objects and a couple days prior to that I had been slurring my words and I had been doing a little bit of slobbering. It almost seemed as if I had been drinking. Of course I hadn’t. I had ignored all this as just because I was really tired and I was still healing from all the other challenges my body had been through the past few years. However, the next morning, I still had a slight headache, and then suddenly without warning, I lost all ability to speak and my entire left side became paralyzed to my waist. In addition, my entire face was numb.
To say that was a frightening experience – again quite an understatement! The ER staff thought I was having a stroke. Of course, I thought the same.
After a CAT scan with and without contrast, an MRI, a spinal tap, and various other tests I was admitted to the hospital in the neurology / stroke unit. To this day, the docs tell me they can’t rule out a TIA, or a transient ischemic attack 100%, which is basically a mini-stroke, but they are secure in their diagnosis of complicated hemiplegic migraine, a rare neurological disorder that mimics strokes – and could, in fact, lead to a stroke in some cases. So now I was officially diagnosed with hemiplegic migraines in addition to the POTS. I was prescribed a calcium-channel blocker called Verapamil, in addition to the beta blocker, to mitigate the frequency and severity of the complicated hemiplegic migraine attacks and reduce my chances of a stroke.
By now I had an entire team of doctors including two neurologists, two cardiologists, two general practice physicians and a PA. In September 2012 I was sent to a neurological specialist who had been trained, and was considered a top fellow at the Cleveland Clinic. The Cleveland Clinic is renowned for being one of the top neurological hospitals in the nation. After more testing and exams my new doctor officially diagnosed me with Autonomic Neuropathy comorbid with POTS and Hemiplegic Migraines. Specifically, Idiopathic Peripheral Autonomic Neuropathy. Idiopathic means without known cause. Peripheral autonomic neuropathy is a form of dysautonomia that can cause POTS. Autonomic Neuropathy can also cause migraines so it’s all related. In my case, most likely hereditary… a genetic disorder.
I have been symptomatic and in and out of hospitals my entire life. With that came misdiagnoses and at times absolute dismissal and a shunning as a “head case.” I’ve had my share of doctors telling me it’s all in my head, it’s stress, it’s anxiety, it’s panic attacks. Just go away and calm down. You’ll get over it.”
Some physicians have been downright rude. In fact, I overheard one of the ER physicians out in the hallway outside my room during my April 2012 visit say that he thought I was full of BS. Maybe I was just acting because I needed attention, because oh yeah! That’s exactly how I would want to spend my day! I don’t know about you, but not! Not so much. That was the same day I was admitted because they finally realized, luckily – some of the other physicians – that something serious was going on.
I was hospitalized for a week and recovery took over a month. I had minor residual effects for up to three months.
During my hospital stay, I was evaluated by yet another psychiatrist who affirmed that my condition most certainly was not in my head nor was it coming from a psychiatric condition – that I did in fact have a real condition that needed medical attention. I am so grateful for all the physicians over my lifetime who sincerely listened to me and tried to diagnose such a rare disorder even if they couldn’t figure it out. And I’m extremely grateful to all the physicians who listened to me and finally did figure out what was happening.
You know it’s not surprising that many have become disillusioned and disenchanted with the state of modern Western medicine. Allopathic medicine certainly has its place in acute and trauma care. It is not, however, well equipped to deal with proactive, preventative medicine nor long-term care, reduction, or prevention of autoimmune diseases, illnesses idiopathic in nature, or chronic illness. Naturopathic, holistic practices, including Chinese medicine and herbal pharmacology are modalities much better suited to address these issues. However, even this is not enough.
In a quest for restoring a sense of balance and health in my physical body, as well as regaining a connection to my spiritual self, I have come to understand that while there are various developments of the world’s mystical traditions and spiritual and medicinal practices, there is one basic premise underlying almost all of them — that is a respect and understanding of the human psyche.
My particular condition has followed a course of remission/recurrence over the years. That was one of the contributing factors of why it was so difficult to diagnose.
What I’m going to say next may be offensive to some. Indeed, originally it was pretty offensive to me! I’m going to tread lightly here, but please, hear me out. It is true that this condition is not all in my head. It is not simply stress, nor is it simply anxiety. It is neither imaginary nor psychosomatic. I have passed plenty of psychiatric evaluations over the years including all of those required for law enforcement. I have always been given a clean bill of mental health. Those of us who have dysautonomia or autonomic neuropathy know intimately the battle we’ve had to undertake to get physicians to take us seriously and run the necessary tests – to persevere in finding answers for the physical symptoms we present with without simply writing us off and sending us on our way. It took me until the age 43 to be properly diagnosed, so I know full well the frustration in being written off as a conversion disorder case.
However, having said that what if part of it IS to do with the psyche? What if the mind IS responsible for creating disease from negative thought patterns and repeating viral programming?
Okay, now that you’ve spewed your tea or coffee and cursed me out… let me continue. No really. Hear me out and then feel free to disagree.
Have you ever wondered how certain people don’t get ill even when around contagious people? Think of the Black Plague in Europe. What about the family members who cared for those stricken with the plague and yet never came down with the disease themselves? Yes there is a biological component, a genetic component, a reason certain people’s immune systems reject disease while others’ don’t. We can explain this scientifically – but even after going through all the inner-workings of the immune system and pathophysiology we’re still left asking WHY?
Think about cancer patients, or others who have a terminal disease who have been given a one to five percent chance of survival, people who have been told to get their affairs in order because they have a death sentence. And yet some people come back from that to be “miraculously” cancer-free. Or suddenly and inexplicably cured of whatever terminal disease they’ve been diagnosed with. Have you ever wondered WHY?
There are tens of thousands of people, or even hundreds of thousands of people, who have miraculous stories of near death experiences or terminal illnesses who spontaneously recover and leave medical science standing in awe and wonder. Many have described the power of prayer, or divine intervention, or mind over matter, or the placebo effect. No matter what you call it, there’s no denying that some supernatural healing is occurring. Don’t you want to be one of those cases? I know I do!
As I’ve mentioned already, my condition is most likely genetic. It’s still “most likely” because I have not gone forward with genetic testing at this point even though I have had three different physicians talk to me about it – one family physician and two neurologists. What I have is idiopathic. Meaning the physicians have now determined that I do have a medical condition that is not “just in my head” – but they don’t know WHY. There’s that mystery again. A missing piece. The physicians are able to treat the SYMPTOMS of my condition – for which I am eternally grateful. Believe me! No question about it. I absolutely must have this type of treatment at this time. Allopathic intervention literally saved my life. But none involved still knows the CAUSE, so allopathic medicine is not the end of the story… it’s only a piece. Naturopathic treatments are also treating the symptoms, not the cause.
So what does it take to experience supernatural healing? I’m talking about true healing where there is no need to treat the symptoms any longer because the underlying cause has been addressed. There can be no true healing unless we do indeed address the psyche in addition to treating the body. There is absolute truth to mind, body, and spirit being in balance for optimal health.
I’d like to explore and better understand why certain people remain healthy even when exposed to environmental conditions that should by all means cause illness. I’d like to reverse engineer why some people seem to inexplicably recover fully even after being given a death sentence. What is this mystery? This secret? That’s a mystery I definitely want solved! That’s a secret worth being privy to! Don’t you agree?
First of all, if you are under the care of a physician and/or you are on prescription medications, you should continue with that care. What I’m talking about is not to replace the care provided by a licensed medical physician. And you should never stop taking any prescription medication without working with your physician to do so.
As of this podcast I am still taking my calcium channel blocker, although in working with my cardiologist and neurologist and doing a lot of work to transfigure my thought patterns, I have successfully been off my beta-blocker for about 9 months. I remain under the care of a cardiologist and neurologist. What I have experienced is that by working in tandem with my allopathic physicians and working with a counselor to transfigure how I process environmental input and past programming, I have gotten to the point where I have experienced supernatural healing that even my physicians see. I get to bear witness for my physician and others! That’s cool, right?
Now let’s think about this for a moment. Do you agree that there actually are, and have been, cases of spontaneous healing? Perhaps you’ve even seen one yourself. Or maybe you’ve done it! Whether you call it the power of prayer, or divine intervention, or angels intervening, or mind over matter, or the placebo effect, or the law of attraction, or the power of positive thinking, or a miracle there are plenty of documented cases where the MIND is capable of healing disease. The body and mind are intelligently designed and interact like a finely tuned machine. And the mind can cause disease or can create supernatural healing.
Science teaches us that humans emit an electromagnetic field. In other words, the body emits an invisible, yet detectable energy field. Some refer to this energy field as the biofield or the aura. An analogy would be electrons traveling through a copper wire to produce energy in the form of electricity. We’re unable to see the electrons traveling through the wire, yet we are able to detect their presence and the end result, which is electricity – by using various equipment such as ohmmeters, volt meters and oscilloscopes.
Similarly there are tools that can detect the energy movement of the human biofield even if apparently undetectable by the human eye, although there some who profess to be able to see auras unaided. My point is that there is no doubt that this energy field exists. Indeed it can be argued that on a quantum-physics level we are nothing but energy – a light being – composed of particle-wave duality. It is this energy field that can be stymied causing illness, or manipulated to allow healing.
This energy field has been described as an interaction of seven chakras – or energy centers that flow along meridians, or energy channels. Hindus refer to it as prana; Buddhists and Chinese call it Qi or Qigong. Islamists, Jews, and even some Christians describe chakras as energy centers connected to major organs, glands and systems.
When these energy centers and energy channels are in a state of homeostasis with energy flowing freely, a person is in a state of optimum health and vitality. If these energy centers or energy channels are blocked or damaged in some way this allows for a state of disease, or in worst cases, death. Gibbs Free Energy equation demonstrates that death occurs in a biological system when delta G (∆G) equals zero. In other words all energy flow in all energy centers has ceased in the mind-body system.
The psyche is command central for this chakral flow. Therefore, while allopathic medicine, naturopathic medicine, energy healing and body work can be essential to the healing process — none of these modalities is sufficient without addressing the human psyche as well. Specifically we need to address the genetic illness, or genetic code, or generational viral patterns being ignorantly passed along from grandparent to parent to child perpetuating the cycle of illness. If the psyche has the potential to create, or mis-create, causing or contributing to illness and disease, then the inference can be made that the psyche is also capable of healing that illness or disease.
I’ve learned a tremendous amount over the last few years about how the psyche interacts with the body and I understand so much more how to find the source of discomfort, pain, disease, chronic illness or cancer. I’ve also learned how to transform and transfigure the viral patterns and eradicate disease from my mental, emotional and physical body so I can embrace life fully with joy ready to live my optimum.
Don’t get me wrong. I still deal with symptoms. This is an ongoing process. it’s a continuing process. But I have successfully gone from being bedbound and housebound to being active and engaging in life again. I have successfully weaned off my beta-blocker and hope to eventually wean off my calcium channel blocker as well. I’m in talks with my neurologist at this time and we have a plan of action in place.
I’m living a more aware, joyful and fulfilling life. And truly try to live each day with gratitude. Thank you for allowing me to share my challenges and my joys with you. It’s good to be back!